I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
