He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
