dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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