I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
