saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
only you would photoshop your dick
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
