you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I know her cup size but not her name....
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