dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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