Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
