So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
