If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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