It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Come on in and take your pants off
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