Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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