Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
