it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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