Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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