operation have a gay friend backfired
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
