well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The power of my boobs compel you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
