I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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