so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
