Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
