It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
