Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
