Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I love you. Go after that dick
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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