You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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