omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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