arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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