Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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