what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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