I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
