She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
