I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
