and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
