im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
