just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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