AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
