Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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