Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
