ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
All the doctor said was why
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
