Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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