It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
