i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
