I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
