Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize