none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
