Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
