Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
