...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
