Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
