maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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