I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
