Sry I called you an 8
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize