I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize