Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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