it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
