He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
