yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
