I cockslap morals
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
