WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
