weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize