Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
