The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
