How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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