I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
