Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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