did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
When are your genitals available?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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