Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
