oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize